Barrow never far from Cavs’ minds

Every Thursday, for the past several years, one Virginia senior has had the chance to get up in front of the entire team and give a brief talk.

Players can discuss anything they want. They can provide feedback on how practice is going, talk about an upcoming opponent, or just reminisce about their experiences at UVa.

The sessions are known as “The Last Word.” 

This season, Virginia has 13 seniors on its roster, and, inevitably, each of the speakers has touched on the same subject matter — former teammate Will Barrow.

It was this past November, just a few days before Thanksgiving, when Barrow was found dead after an apparent suicide.

The death of Barrow — who had completed his lacrosse eligibility, but was in Charlottesville finishing his degree in sociology — hit Virginia players like a Mack truck. Barrow had been a team captain in 2008 and was extremely popular.

“He was an outgoing, fun-loving guy,” said Virginia junior Brian Carroll. “Everyone loved to be around him. He could always put a smile on people’s faces.”

On Saturday, when Virginia takes on Cornell in the semifinals of the NCAA tournament, Barrow, like he has all season, will be on everyone’s mind.

Throughout the year, players have displayed Barrow’s jersey No. 23 during games, painting the number on their arms and etching it into their eye black. In pregame warm-ups, players wear a special T-shirt that has “Will” embroidered onto a sleeve.

“Will is someone who we think about every day and night,” said Virginia junior Max Pomper, one of Barrow’s closest friends. “Before the game, we talk about Will. We talk about how we want to play like he did — play hard, play fast, play strong. He was an incredible leader and we’ll never forget him. We want to honor him by playing well and playing hard.”

Pomper and Barrow both grew up on Long Island, N.Y., about 20 minutes apart. Their families remain good friends.

Pomper says it’s impossible to keep Barrow out of his mind — not that he’d want to. All of his best college memories involve his buddy, on the field and off. He remembers all the tailgating they did — the time Virginia upset Florida State in football and they stormed the field together.

“We tried to tackle Ernie Sims,” said a smiling Pomper, referring to the former Seminoles linebacker who now plays for the Detroit Lions.

After Barrow’s death, Virginia players met on countless occasions to try and talk things through.

“This is one of your best friends — he lives next door to you,” said Virginia coach Dom Starsia. “For kids this age, this was a traumatic thing to have happen.”

Virginia fifth-year senior Mike Timms, normally very introverted, spoke up at the meetings. Timms, who lost both of his parents at a young age, did his best to try and help his teammates cope with the tragedy that nobody had answers for.

“My feeling was that everyone handles situations like that differently,” Timms said. “Moving forward, you have to find whatever way works for you the best to move on and to realize that things aren’t going to be the way they were before.”

Playing with an open wound, everyone has tried their best.

It hasn’t been easy. There are constant reminders. In viewing video of upcoming opponents, players often see Barrow in action from years past.

Last Thursday, Barrow would have celebrated his 23rd birthday.

“It’s just always right there,” Starsia said.

On the field, Virginia stormed out of the gates, winning its first 11 games. Then came two losses to rival Duke within a two-week span. After the second, a demoralizing 16-5 setback, Starsia figured his team had run out of gas mentally. A lackluster win over Dartmouth only lent more credence to the theory.

“If the season had ended the way the regular season did, it still would have been an unbelievable year with everything that we’d been through,” Starsia said. “After the second Duke game, I said, ‘This team just may be spent.’”

But the Cavaliers got off the mat, crushing Villanova and Johns Hopkins in their first two NCAA Tournament games. In the win over Hopkins last Sunday, UVa seemed to be playing with a bounce to its step that had been missing.

“I wasn’t sure we had another gear that we’ve demonstrated these last couple of weeks,” Starsia said. “That’s been especially gratifying, and I give the seniors a lot of credit for helping pull this thing together.”

Carroll — who, like many Virginia players, was at home on Thanksgiving break when he received word of Barrow’s death — says the team has persevered.

“I think as terrible as it was, it’s made our team stronger,” he said. “We had to go through that and it kind of unified us.”

After the win over Hopkins, Pomper, who remains close with the Barrow family, received a congratulatory e-mail from George Barrow, Will’s father.

“He basically said, ‘Way to kick [butt],’” Pomper said.

Pomper said that the Barrow family will be on hand in Foxborough, Mass., this weekend, cheering on the Cavaliers. In April, they attended the Big City Classic at Giants Stadium in New Jersey.

“It was awesome to look up and see the Barrows,” said Pomper, whose younger brother, Brian, is wearing No. 23 this season. “Mrs. Barrow was wearing Will’s jersey. If you needed any more motivation than that, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

If things go as planned this weekend, perhaps it will be the entire Virginia team that will have “The Last Word.”