Domestic violence awareness event is Monday night

Tonight they will gather in the gloaming, near Stonewall Jackson’s steed, to remember those they don’t want to forget.

Tonight, at 7 p.m. in Jackson Park, adjacent to the Albemarle County Courthouse, the lives and deaths of thousands of victims of domestic violence will be honored and mourned as part of the region’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month activities.

It’s a somber 20-year tradition that starts off the local efforts of counselors and caseworkers dealing with intimate violence in, out and around the police department, courts and hospitals.

They’ll gather because violence masquerading as love is hard on life.

The Virginia Medical Examiner’s Office, which keeps a domestic and intimate violence body count in its office, found 149 domestic violence homicides between adult intimate partners in 2007. Of the victims, 77 percent were women, 50 percent were white, 22.8 percent were between the ages of 18 and 24, and the majority were killed during or after an argument involving infidelity or a perceived infidelity.

This year the list includes a law enforcement officer in Orange County who was shot and killed in his driveway and whose estranged wife has been charged with his murder.

The list includes a Unionville mother and her live-in boyfriend in an Orange County murder-suicide.

One case on the list gave Charlottesville more national television exposure than the Cavalier football squad: University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love was killed and her former boyfriend, UVa lacrosse player George Huguely, was arrested.

“It’s a story we’ve heard so many times,” Cartie Lominack, executive director of Charlottesville’s Shelter for Help in Emergency, said at the time. “The fact of where it happened [UVa] and who it happened to [UVa student-athletes] makes it so very tragic, but it doesn’t make it unique. It’s just different.”

She’s right. According to state statistics, in 2008 at least 33 percent of homicides were related to conflicts between family members or intimate partners, including spouses and those who are dating.

Both men and women are victims. Women, however, are far more likely to be killed by current or former partners. Black Virginians are at more at risk per capita than are whites, and infants are the most vulnerable of all.

Domestic violence runs through economic and social strata, through urban, suburban and rural areas. It’s everywhere and can affect anyone, and that’s why there’s a national Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Referring to domestic homicides, Lela L.E. Bush, Virginia’s chief medical examiner, said, “These deaths were preventable and underscore the need for continued knowledge and action to end violence.”

That’s why the shelter staff arranges and participates in vigils, community events, road races and educational programs. That’s why they run an emergency shelter, provide counseling, attend court with the victims, provide special programs for children and participate in a program to shelter pets from abusers who use threats and harm to animals as leverage.

It’s why advocates, officials, victims and families will meet in Stonewall’s shadow with candles, music and poetry — to remember those who did not survive.